Since the First Time
by amorvacio22
Summary: so here a pretty long one shot, don't know how good it is, but hope you like it! please read and review


**hey guys! sorry it has taken me so long to post something, been really busy and had a serious case of writers block, but school is done! which means a summer of writing for me =) so i am working on the chapter for Fighting a Useless Fight, but this popped into my mind so i ended up writing this pretty long one shot. hope everyone enjoys! and reviews are welcome! =D**

I know exactly where I first saw her?...is that weird? Is it strange that I know exactly what she was wearing, who she was with, and where she was at? Don't get me wrong I'm no stalker, I'm hypnotized, she hypnotizes me. But before we hit that story maybe I should let you know a little about myself, my name is Spencer Carlin, I was born and raised in L.A, I am extremely athletic, if its a sport I play it! I'm basically the jock of the school, which I don't mind, I get all the ladies!..Oh yea I'm gay, out, and I am loving it! I live with my dad, and then my mom on the weekends, yes they are divorced but they are very supportive of me. I have 2 younger brothers glen and clay, both 12, and no they are not twins clay was adopted the same year my mom had glen; those boys are a handful though! Clay is your sweet, quiet, good grades, but mischievous one, while glen is the troublemaker, hyper, kind of sweet, crazy kid. As annoying as they are I love them to death.

It all started in eighth grade, I had recently just applied to a couple high schools, but today I was going to visit one of my choices, and follow one of the students which they call shadowing. I arrive a little nervous, my dad smiles and says that he will drop of some lunch for me around 12, I said ok and started walking towards the entrance of the school.."King High" I read, hmm well it looks nice. I walk into the office where I am greeted by a very nice secretary a little bit later the person I will be shadowing shows up, her name was Becca luckily it was a girl who use to go to my elementary school so I wasn't going to be with a complete stranger. It was finally lunch time and the day was going pretty good, a lot of the teachers were nice, and Becca was very sweet, she let me go on her laptop when we were in the classes so I wasn't bored, even though the school blocked a lot of the websites but I found one that kept me entertained, . What? Don't judge I like giving them makeovers its fun!...um anyway where was I? oh yea, so my dad dropped off my lunch and man it was good! A cheeseburger, fries and a coke, gosh it was good. So I was just sitting there next to Becca enjoying my lovely lunch when I saw her, I swear a probably looked like a freak just sitting there mouth probably hanging all open, I was interrupted by my thoughts when she looked up, brown eyes met blue and I was lost. Well that's until her boyfriend, yes boyfriend, turned around also making me look down in the process, the rest of the lunch I would steal glances at her but not to many since she was to busy making out with Mr. I am a no good rotten little boy who is going to get expelled, so anyway that's when I first saw her...

Even though we just shared a couple of glances I never could get her out of my mind, I thought I was going crazy, I was just getting used to the fact that I like girls, so these feelings were all very new to me. And for them to land on me with such a big impact scared me, but I didn't push away the thoughts, because even though it scared me senseless I knew she was the only one keeping me from going extremely crazy..Even though she was the reason for it all.

And low and behold I actually ended up going to that high school, freshman year was ok, I met a lot of cool people, they was this girl Chelsea who was on my soccer and basketball team, she liked sports as much as I did, she was a junior and very beautiful, we instantly clicked. Then we have Kyla, she was a freshman like me and we had every class but math together, she was in geometry while I was in algebra 1, Kyla is very outgoing and helped me step out of my bubble a bunch. Freshman year wasn't that exciting, I played sports and got good grades, I hung out with Kyla most of the time. The only thing that was really good about freshman year, was that I saw the brown eyed girl a lot, we would pass each other in the halls and our eyes would quickly connect, luckily her boyfriend got expelled, what I say?, but of course she was too beautiful to stay single so she got another boyfriend, Mr. I party every night and live on steroids (yes my nicknames for people are great). I found out that Chelsea was actually good friends with the brown eyed girl, so when I would hang with Chelsea the brown eyed girl would be there. I finally got the guts to ask Chelsea about her, I told her all about my crush and she thought it was, and I quote "the cutest thing ever!" so she told me a little bit about this brown eyed girl, apparently she plays volleyball and softball, (sweet!), she is also a cheerleader for the girls and boys basketball team, (awesome!), apparently she gets good grades, (perfect!), and she told me she is into a lot of stuff, but said I had to find out myself...ugh I dislike Chelsea, making me have to find out myself, gosh man. I was a little upset because she wouldn't tell me anything else then she started walking off, but before I could start complaining she turned around I screamed those five words that I was waiting for.."Her name is Ashley Davies!" I really didn't care who was looking, I started smiling like a kid on Christmas day because finally I got to put a name to this brown eyed girl, Ashley. So the rest of the year when on like this year, me secretly kind of stalking Ashley, Chelsea filling me in bit by bit, and hanging out with Kyla. So I never did talk to Ashley that year at all, I was to scared...I know stupid right? Chelsea and Kyla thought so to. But that's ok, I am slowly...very slowly getting closer to her. Ashley Davies, you have no idea what you do to me.

So the summer went pretty quick, unfortunately. Kyla and me hung out a bunch, and we would occasionally chill with Chelsea, it was a great summer, lets just say the only thing I was looking forward to school was because I would see her again. yes her as in Ashley Davies, my muse, my obsession, my crush, the every thought that filled my mind, yea that one.

Ok so there is one bad thing about this year, well I am a sophomore, whoot whoot. But that means I have one year to talk to Ashley, since she is a senior and stuff. I can do it! Yes I can do it!...ok I am screwed.

So that's where we are now, it's been about two weeks of school, and lets just say it hasn't been the best. She is still with Mr. I party every night and live on steroids I finally got his name rick, yea I know rick? Like what the heck..But yea that's his name. Well anyway we still only make eye contact but it seems like this year she does it more then last year, we still haven't talk though.

"Hey girl, you coming to the softball game tomorrow?" that was Chelsea, her and Ashley play on the softball team, and unfortunately softball is one of the sports I didn't play this year, why am I so stupid? But just because I do not play does not mean I cannot support it right? I have been to every game so far, to umm support Chelsea..Yea *cough* Chelsea...

"of course chels"

"Great! So um we are having a team vs. teachers game Friday are you going?"

"Hmm sure, I mean who wouldn't want to see the teachers get their butts kick?"

"you have a good point there Carlin" we both giggle

later that night I am sitting at my computer doing some productive work….ok I am on facebook but hey that's productive..in some sort of way..ok anyway just a couple minutes ago I just realized I have no idea where this softball game is going to be, I go see if Chelsea is online, but of course she isn't. I scroll down a bit more to see if there is anyone I can ask when I suddenly stop…oh gosh, Ashley is on..this is my chance, my chance to finally talk to her. I am sitting there deciding whether or not to write her when I just go for it.

_Hey, I heard about the softball game and wanted to go to see the teacher vs student game but I don't really know where it is or what time it starts. So I was kind of hoping that you knew, since your on the team and all. Anyway it would be really cool if you could just write me back the info and everything._

SEND. Wow I sound like a nerd oh gosh what if she thinks I am a weirdo and doesn't write back, I'm going to just do some homework to pass the time

So I finally finish the awful math homework I had, gosh did I mention I hate math yet? No? well I HATE math. So anyway I check facebook and low and behold there it is!...1 new message….! So right now I am hyperventilating and deciding whether or not to open it…well of course I'm going to open it! I am just realllllly nervous! So I open it and there in all its glory is the message from miss Ashley Davies.

_Hey =) yea of course, its going to be at the field right down the block from our school where we have our home games. If you need the exact address I could probably get that for you. And it starts at 4:00. By the way how did you know I was on the team?_

She put a smiley face! But oh boy now she probably thinks I'm a stalker! I guess I should right her back then to make sure that's not what she thinks.

_Oh ok, I know where that is so I won't be needing the address, but thank you =) and my friend Chelsea plays for the team so I go to a lot of your guys games. I was going to ask her about the time and place but she wasn't online. So I'm sorry if I bothered you or something. But thankyou again for everything. _

Gosh way to end the conversation spencer..now was your chance and you just cut it off. next thing I know I look at the bottom of my screen and see a little instant message thingy pop up.

Ashley Davies: hey sorry I didn't write you back in the inbox but I thought this would be quicker

Spencer Carlin: its ok, it is much quicker =)…(ugh no shit Sherlock she just said that)

Ashley Davies: ha-ha yea. But your welcome. oh yea I remember you, you are the girl who is always walking with Chelsea. I see you at all the games, its really cool that you come support her. And no its fine you didn't bother me at all! Just glad I could help =)

(holy cow! She notices me!)

Spencer Carlin: haha yea that's me! =p….and thanks but you know I got to support the whole team not just her. and you were a very big help so thanks again =)

Ashley Davies: oh gosh stop saying thankyou ha-ha your being to sweet all I did was tell you the place and time.

Spencer Carlin: yea but if I never found out where it was or when, I wouldn't have been able to go and that would have been sad.

Ashley Davies: this is true. your going, so I am very glad I could help then. =p

(is she flirting?)

Spencer Carlin: haha as you should. I am sorry but could I ask one more question?

Ashley Davies: haha yes you may =p

Spencer Carlin: I was wondering who I could buy the ticket from, I heard it was like 3 dollars to go or something?

Ashley Davies: yea its three dollars, but we are going to have food and stuff there so I promise it will be worth your time. And no but I do have a phone, so I should be in school early tomorrow you could text me when you get to school and we could do a trade, sound good?

Spencer Carlin: ok sounds like a deal.

Ashley Davies- great! Ok here it is, 222-345-3344

Spencer Carlin- ok thanks again =) and I'll txt you tomorrow!

Ashley Davies- haha ok, nice to finally meet you miss Spencer Carlin

Spencer Carlin- haha likewise miss Ashley Davies =p

Ashley Davies- =)

Spencer Carlin- =D

oh boy maybe I shouldn't have picked that smiley face, it seems to eager….oh gosh who am I kidding I really don't care! Because I just had a full blown conversation with ASHLEY DAVIES! Yes the Ashley Davies! And I have her numberrrr! Gosh I need to call Chelsea!

Next day:

So I was at school like an hour early which sucks because I'm tired as crap BUT it was for Ashley so I guess I can sacrifice my sleepy time. But yea I texted her when I woke up! I basically just asked her when did she want me to pay her and what not and she told me she would be at school early and that I can meet her then. So we met, traded, and I left. Yes, left. Ugh! I know I have been waiting to talk to her for over a year and all we say is hi, thank you, your welcome, and boom its over. It was horrible, the only good part was the shock. Yes, the shock. I went to reach for the ticket after I gave her the money and her hands kind of placed it on mine and she slowly pulled away but it was like BAMMMMMM SHOOOCCKKK. I was like woah. I think she might of felt something because her eyes went wide for a second but I'm not sure, it could be just me. But I finished the rest of my boring day, school, work, watching YES watching NOT stalking…Ashley. And that leads me to where I am now at the volleyball game eating the McDonalds I picked up on the way here. There is still like thirty minutes until the game starts so I have time to eat. As I'm devouring my fries and sandwich I see her, Ashley, walking towards me. I quickly looked behind me to see if she was walking somewhere else but nope she was walking towards me! YES, ME!

"hey Spencer" she smiles, gosh I love her smile

"um hey Ashley, watsup?" so far so good

"nothing just saw you sitting here and wanted to say hi before the game"

"oh, ok cool." Nice Spencer…

"yea so hi" she smiles almost like she is nervous I giggle

"hey back" we sit in an awkward silence for a bit before I decide to speak up again

"you sure there wasn't anything else you wanted?"

"well, maybe just a little something" I laugh

"ok whats up, how can I be of service" I smile a cheesy smile which makes her laugh!

"well, Chelsea told me you like taking pictures and videos, so I was just wondering is you possibly brought your cameras with you that would be great if you could possibly video tape and take picture, but you don't have to I mean I know this is late notice and all and.." I cut off her rambling

"Ashley, chill" I giggle while she blushes. Aw! "I always bring my camera, its no problem, really, I would love to help out" she looks all excited

"really? Ok great! Thank you!"

"your very welcome" she smiles a warm smile

"well I better get back to the team, we have to practice a bit before we beat the teachers butts" we both laugh

"ok well good luck" I smile

"thank you so much Spencer"

"I told you, its no problem, now go kick some butt" she laughs and walks off

the game was good, and really funny. The teachers ended up winning which nobody will ever let the softball team live down. I took a bunch of pictures and videos so hopefully she will like them, she meaning Ashley of course =) I actually offered to make a small movie for them from all the footage and pictures I took. So I actually just uploaded it to facebook a bit ago so I am a bit nervous to see how they all like it. Chelsea saw it and told me it was great but she is my friend so I am not sure if she is just saying it. I mean I think it is good, but I love hearing feedback from others also….ok so maybe I just want to see what Ashley thinks, but who wouldn't?

next day….

Crap I must of fell asleep again. But it doesn't matter, its ssattttuuurrrrddaaayyyyyyyy! Whoot whoot! Right when I am about to go downstairs and feats on whatever cereal takes up my cabinets. I freeze.

"FACEBOOK!" I scream a little louder then it should be screamed

I quickly log on to facebook and see I have 20 notifications all of them for commenting on my video! I go to the video and see a Chelsea and a lot of the other girls form the softball team commented, also some random people who just liked it. I keep scrolling down and then I see It…a comment from Ashley Davies herself..

_Spencer this was great! You really have a talent for this movie stuff! But it was soooo sweet of you to make it! I will defiantly remember to ask you if I need anyone to take pictures or record something for me! thanks again miss Spencer =) _

Ok so my smile is as big as...well its just very big I re-read it again..ok well I re-read it about 4 more times..but that's it! Gosh.

So a couple more weeks have gone by and everyone is actually getting pumped up for Halloween. Now I know what you're thinking, why are a bunch of teenagers excited about Halloween? Well its not because of trick-or-treating….well trick or treating is fun I mean going around getting free candy..right?..no?..oh um yea I don't think its cool either…um anyway what was I talking about? Oh yea! Halloween is the holiday of the wildest, weirdest, most outrages parties ever! So yea everyone tries to get the best costumes to show off, some people just get pumped up for a night of drinking and dancing their butts off.

Chelsea called earlier and wanted to know if I wanted to go shopping with her and Kyla for outfits, and of course I said yes since I don't have one yet. I actually have no idea what I want to be, but I guess chels and ky can help me out with that.

So right now we are at the mall looking for outfits…and then I see it, the best costume ever!

"hey guys what about this one!" I take it off the hook and show them

"Spencer no, put it down" Kyla says and I pout

"what? Why? It's the best one here!"

"Spencer it's a power ranger costume!" yea no duh Chelsea, that's why its awesome

"I know and not only just power rangers! It's the BLUE power ranger!"

"no I will not let you go to the party dressed up as the blue power ranger"

"yea Spence put it down"

"ugh you guys are no fun" we keep walking as I keep pouting when I hear a phone go off..

_Can we pretend that airplanes In the night sky_

_Are like shooting stars _

_I could really use a wish right now (wish right now, wish right now)_

_Can we pretend that airplanes In the night sky_

_Are like shooting stars_

_I could really use a wish right now (wish right now, wish right now)_

"hello" Chelsea answers her phone and all I here is mumbling on the other line

"um no I'm not, I'm actually at the mall with Kyla and Spencer" more mumbling

"yea we're shopping for Halloween outfits" a little bit more mumbling

"really? Well how about you join us then, I don't think they will mind at all" and some more mumbling

"ok then I will see you soon" and they mumbling keeps going

"no problem, ok bye" no more mumbling

"who was that?" good question Kyla I was wondering that to

"oh just one of my friends, she is guna join us is that ok?"

we both nod our heads and keep looking for outfits

"hey Spence what about this one?" I look over to Kyla holding the slutiest fireman outfit I have ever seen! I mean I think the biggest part of clothing to the outfit is the hat!

"KYLA PUT IT DOWN! NO!"

"what? Why Spence?"

"Kyla I don't even know what that is? I mean its so short and tight I probably wouldn't be able to walk in it, then I would fall on my face, which would probably rip whatever clothing that fireman suit has, and then I will be on the floor…naked…embaressed..and showing the whole world my goodies!"

"um i'll take that as a no" I here the cutest giggle I ever heard and I turn around just to be met with my favorite pair of brown eyes…but of course I turn as red as that fireslut outfits hat…did she hear that whole thing?

"yes I did, but its ok, it was funny" did I say it out loud or did she read my mind?

"and no you didn't say it out loud" holy shit she can read my mind!

All she does is giggle while I'm sitting there panicking because gosh the thoughts that swim through my mind about her, and she can read them! Oh boy…

"chill Spence I cant read minds either" she giggles

"your face and eyes are just easy to read"

"oh" I say blushing…we stand there kind of awkwardly when Kyla speaks up

"so Ashley what are you doing down here?"

"oh um, sorry, Chelsea kind of invited me" my eyes go wide

"oh ok chels told us she was inviting a friend she just never said who"

I stay silent

"oh hey ash you made it!" and cue Chelsea

"hey chels" gosh she has one heck of a smile

"hey ash I think I might be a werewolf or something this year" ok that wasn't Kyla, or Chelsea..and it defiantly wasn't me..it actually sounds like….oh crap.

"um guys this is my boyfriend Mack" and cue sick to the stomach

"hey guys" he smiles that stupid jock-like did I mention stupid smile.

Chelsea looks at Ashley with an annoyed look, while Kyla waves and I just stand there. While Chelsea and Ashley are having a conversation with their eyes I decide I am going to get a drink or something…I just can't be here around jockstrap.

"umm I'm just going to go get a drink.." I am about to walk away when someone stops me

"I'll go with you Spence" ugh gosh she has to stop calling me Spence and looking at me like that, and talking like that, and smelly like that and gosh Ashley go hide under a rock or something!

"uh, no its ok I think I am just guna go by myself" for a moment it looks like she is disappointed but I'm not sure

"oh, uh are you sure? Because I really don't mind"

"no its fine, I don't want to take you from your boyfriend" ok so I sounded harsher then I expected but I don't like him, and im annoyed so whatever. Before she says anything I just turn away and start walking toward the food court, gosh we still have to find Halloween costumes, today is going to be tough.

So here we all are…yes all, meaning Chelsea, Kyla, Mack, Ashley and me we are all in this one costume shop STILL looking for costumes! I have picked like hundreds I could wear but noone will let me! They said something about them being to "childish" or just plain "weird" whatever! Power rangers and ninja turtles are far from childish! My legs are so tired…OH LOOK A SOFA! I run over to it and plop myself down while the rest of the crew is looking around. Next thing I know Kyla runs up to me screaming

"FASHION SHOW TIME!"

"yay!"

"sounds good"

"yes!"

"um no I'm good, thanks"

yea the last one was me…I know you would have thought it would have been that loser of a boy but nope his perverted self was the third one.

"awe come on Spence I picked out clothes for you!"

"there are only two changing areas, don't worry about it, I'll just watch"

"no Spence you are changing and that's final!"

"NO KYLA!"

"YES"

"NO!"

"YES!"

so here I am in the dressing room..dont laugh! Kyla is scary and stronger then I expected..

"come on Spence what are you doing? Building a rocket in there?"

"I'm dressed, I'm just not coming out"

"but Spencer I thought you already were" they all laugh

"your not funny ky!"

"awww come on Spence stop being a scary cat!" that on was Chelsea

"NO"

ok so let me fill you in, right now I have on the smallest, tiniest, tightest police man outfit ever! Yea I know I didn't think anything could get any smaller then that firefighter outfit but this did! I wonder if Kyla got this from the toddlers rack or something

"ky you sure this isn't in kids"

"yes Spence I'm sure now get yah ass out here"

"ugh fine!"

I take one more look at my self in the mirror, these tiny shorts barely cover my ass with a tight shirt that hardly has any buttons on it so lets just say I have way more then enough cleavage saying hi. Then of course I have the gun and the handcuffs connected to the belt. I then look down at the knee high leather heals. Yup I am slut-a-licious! Yippie..I hope you caught my sarcastic tone…

I slowly begin opening the door but only enough to stick my head through

"alright Spence stop playing around, let us see"

"you guys suck, I hope you know that."

I open the door all the way and walk out. Is it just me or did it get extremely quiet in here? I look around and see my two best friends, crush, and the jockstrap with their mouths wide open. Is it that bad?

"gosh I told you it was bad I'm just guna go change" before I walk in a hear Kyla screech..gosh loud much?

"OH MY GOOSE EGGS! SPENCER CARLIN YOU A FREAKIN HOT!"

"I totally agree with Kyla!, Spence you look smoking!"

"um thanks u guys"

jockstrap is just standing there looking me up and down, ew! Can he not! I turn to Ashley and see she hasn't moved her eyes are as big as saucers and the only thing different is she is now biting her lips which is extremely sexy!

"um…i..um.." Ashley stutters

"she means DAMMMNNNN Spencer you look freaking sexxxyyyy! Like just damn!"

EW EW EW EW EW EW! Someone save me! I look over to ash and she is staring daggers at him

"whoa chill ash didn't mean to make you jealous you are so much more sexier" she glares even harder and hits him

"I'm not jealous! I don't care, go ahead break up with me and do whoever or whatever you want! I don't care! But don't call Spencer sexy!" huh? Did I miss something?

"ash chill I was just giving her a compliment" Ashley eyes softens as she realizes that she flipped out

"listen just go to the food court and get some food and drinks we will meet you over there ok"

"sure" then he leaves

"sorry about that guys I didn't mean to flip out it just I don't really like uh.."she turns around and stops while her eyes widen again she looks me up and down and licks her lips…holy cow! Is she checking me out?

"um ash don't worry about it" I say to her trying to snap her out of whatever state she is in…Kyla and Chelsea are just standing there with smirks on their faces

"um yea well you look um nice.." nice? That's it?

"uh thanks" it gets awkward again…and Ashley is STILL staring and she look extremely hot and I just want to jump her and ugh I need to get out of here!

"so yea well I am going to change and yea to the dressing room!" I lift my hands in the air only for my hat to fall off onto the ground I look at it and realized that I am not sure I will be able to bend in what I am wearing but I try anyway..im guessing it an interesting view for the girls since the girls are snickering I stand up only to notice Ashley eyes WAY bigger then they were before and I think she actually might be drooling…so that's what they were laughing at..

"ok so um guys I cant reach my hat" I say to them

"oh well you will find a way Spence. Chels and I actually have to finish shopping so yea bye"

"what? Wait! Help!" but they left…shit…

"um Ashley could you help me pick up my hat please I cant reach it" she snaps out of whatever trance she was in a nods, she bends down only to realize its at my feet she lifts her head up my legs and slowly looks at my body then looks me in the eyes, she quickly drops the hat then proceeds to step like 50 feet away

"so um yea I'm just guna go find mack, my boyfriend, with the drinks..so yea"

she runs off leaving me here…hat on the floor…and very confused…just great

so if your wondering, yes I finally got the hat after many tries I just gave up got changed and then picked it up once I was in the comfort of my jeans. So the day pretty much got worst after that, Ashley was avoiding eye contact with me like crazy and then she was all over Mack! Ew! But whatever she can do whatever she wants, I'm over it!...ok that's a lie…i'm far from over her..but she is just so damn confusing! Well long story short we haven't talked since that day and its been like a week already! A quickly snap out of my thoughts has two hands wrap around my waist.

"spencey wincey!" oh gosh..

"have I told you how much I hate that nickname?"

"so that's really how you greet me after you haven't seen me in days?"

"cris you just saw me yesterday" ok let me introduce you to one of my good friends crystal, she is greek and absolutely stunning! she is about 2 inches shorter then me, black hair, blue/gray eyes, olive skin, and a models body. Don't get the wrong idea, I don't like her like that, I mean we tried something in the beginning of freshman year but it felt to weird to us. So she became my wing man and I'm hers, we go to parties together, dance, drink, and make people jealous and next thing you know we have girls all over us. But wait don't get the wrong idea again, me and her don't take any home, we have this rule that we are not going to have sex with anyone until we either are married or DEFIANTLY know this is the one. It's a pretty hard rule to follow but so far so good.

"I know but I missed my spencey wency solo much! Each hour felt like daysss and days!"

"oh gosh crystal you are such a weirdo"

"yes but I am YOUR weirdo" we both laugh

"sure you are cris" we keep playing around until we hear a cough I turn around to see Chelsea, Kyla, and Ashley

"hey guys what sup?" I ask

"just wondering if you guys are going to the Halloween party this Friday?"

"I'm pretty sure, where is it at this time?"

"mack's house" oh….maybe I wont

"um I'm not sure" I turn to crystal "hey are we going Friday?"

"we sure are! When do we ever turn down parties?"

"this is true" we laugh again I turn back around only o be met by daggers, beautiful daggers, but daggers nonetheless. Belonging to a miss Ashley Davies, gosh what did I do to her? I look down and notice what position I am in now, me in front of crystal, her hands around my waist, we are both laughing…yea people could defiantly get the wrong idea by this…wait a second, is Ashley jealous? I pull out of crystals' hands hand tell her i'll meet her in class she nods and leaves but not before giving me a peck on my cheek, its not romantic peck just a friend see you later peck. But it doesn't look like Ashley approved of even a friend peck…wait why should I care why Ashley approves? I shouldn't feel guilty at all! She has a boyfriend and was ALL over him in front of me! You know what I don't have time for this…

"alright well ima head to class" I give both Chelsea and Kyla hugs and kisses on the cheek making sure Ashley saw it…I look at her with a small smirk on my face, knowing I get to her even if she doesn't know it yet.

"bye Ashley" she nods her head…dang not even using words? Whatever.

"ok see yah Spence" Chelsea waves.

"see you at lunch! We will talk about the party details then"

"okay ky see yah"

its Friday night and I am getting ready for the Halloween party, don't get to excited I didn't buy that police outfit, I mean I hardy could move in it! So I went with something still hot but easier to move in, ok you want to know what I am?...you sure?..are you positive?..ok I'm a GANGSTER! Ha-ha yea I didn't think you were going to guess. So you are probably wondering, how do you make a gangster look hot, well I will tell you….I have dark baggy jeans with a pair of high top red and black Nikes on, I have a tight red shirt that is ripped a bit at the top so it shows enough cleavage to keep people wondering and is a bit short at the bottom to show of my abs then I topped it off with a short black unzipped hoody, which I will probably end up taking it of at the party, and I black and red fitted over my side ponytail, and of course the fake gold jewelry…it's the right amount of funny, strange, and hotness, I take look at myself one more time and go downstairs to wait for the rest of them. Oh yea me and Kyla decided that her, Chelsea, crystal and I would all get ready at my house then make our way to macks. We would of invited Ashley but 1. She was avoiding me so I couldn't ask, and 2. She will probably already be there.

"ok Spence we are done!"

"about time!"

I look at the girls who are all posing their own little pose. It's a bit funny actually, crystal is dressed as an angel with a short white dress, wing, a halo, and knee high white leather heels. Kyla is dressed as cat women only looks more sluttier. And Chelsea is the less slutty of the group and she is dressed as a baby doll, with a little baby doll dress and makeup on her face. Lets just say we all are looking pretty hot…and if I do say so myself, some of us are looking pretty flyyyyyy…yes me.

"Spence what happened to the cop outfit?"

"ky I was not guna buy that, and what you don't like this outfit?"

"no I like it, I mean the whole hot boyish weird gangster look suits you but I think the cop would have been better"

"good, that's what I was aiming for"

"Spence don't listen to Kyla you look hot like seriously rite when we step in the party its guna be you and me on the dance floor!"

"ha-ha ok cris"

"ok guys lets go before we are late"

"WAIT! I HAVE TO PEE!"

"gosh cris hurry the hell up!"

so we finally arrive at the party after what seems like hours. We walk up to the house…its pretty nice for being the jockstraps house. The door opens and mack instantly greets

"hey guys, you all look great"

"thanks"

"aw thankyou"

"thankyah"

"yea ard homeskilit" I bet you don't know which one was me, the girls are all talking to Mack when Ashley walks up, and says hi

"hey ash wow nice outfit"

"thanks chels" she smiles she starts looking around when her eyes land on me, they get all wide like she didn't expect me to be here. Like I was right next to you, did you seriously not see me?

"oh, um hey spencer"

"hi" she looks me up and down and I can see she approves of my outfit, and trust me I defiantly approve of hers! She has a little cheerleading outfit on, and when I say little I mean the smallest skit ever! The top of it shows off her stomach and oh my gosh she has a belly ring. Not to mention the cleavage showing and her legs…gosh..her legs. Before I can even say anything like 'you look nice' I am being pulled to the dance floor

"Spence be careful"

"what are you talking about?"

"I know you like her, but she is taken, I don't want to see you get hurt"

she turns around before I say anything else because she knows I know what she means. We have been dancing for about 4 songs and damn its hot in here. Just because I don't like crystal like that doesn't mean she cant grind me…right? Well oh well she is and I know EVERYONE is watching…score!

"hey crystal lets go get some drinks"

"you got it Carlin"

"we make our way to the kitchen and grab two beers before we can even start drinking them two girls approach us. One is a tall blonde dressed up a biker chick and I already see her talking with crystal so I look to the other one, she actually kind of looks like Ashley, the only thing is she has green eyes and is a bit taller then Ashley, and has the cutest dimples. Awe and she is shy ok I think imam stick with her for tonight. She is dressed up as a school girl and she looks HOT.

"hey, beautiful whats your name" she smiles but looks down all shy, awe!

"um angle"

"well hello angle, I'm Spencer" I smile and shake her hand

"would you like to dance angie?" she just nods and I know I already got her

ok so its been about 3 songs and I was wrong she defiantly has ME! She dances amazing! Her hips are grinding into me in time with the beat and it just turns me on more, I finally cant take it so I turn her around and look in her eyes, looks like someone else is a bit turned on also. I lean in and before I know it we are in a heated liplock still moving to the beat. I come up for air and tell her would she like me to get her a drink she nods and I head to the kitchen.

"looks like you met a new friends" I turn around and see Ashley

"um yea, I guess you could say that"

"you know I think she is straight"

"well tonight, apparently she is not"

"so you are going to just fuck her even though she is probably playing you" I stop everything I am doing

"whoa, first of all no one said anything about fucking, I am having fun, and second of all where the hell are you coming from? You haven't talked to me in forever but yet right when I start kissing someone you are on my ass telling me I shouldn't? your so damn confusing"

"well my bad for trying to help you, just trying to tell you that your slut of the week might be bad news!"

"SLUT OF THE WEEK? SLUT OF THE FUCKING WEEK?" she flinches as I scream

"is that really what you think of me? Well apparently you don't know what the fuck you are talking about! You don't know me! So stop assuming shit and back the fuck off!" I slam the drinks down and walk outside not caring about anything just needing to get air

I walk to the front yard because it's the only place where noone is. I just sit down on the grass trying to calm myself down. I hear someone walking towards me, I really don't want to be near anyone right now. But I guess the person doesn't get it, because they keep walking towards me, as they get closer I smell the perfume, her perfume, the perfume I love. I know who it is.

"I really don't want you here right now." I say

"we need to talk, I want to apologize"

"we don't need to talk" she sighs and sits down right next to me, gosh why is she making this harder then it needs to be

"listen i'm sorry ok, your right I don't know you, and I shouldn't of assumed anything"

"damn right.." I interrupt

"Spencer just let me finish please" I don't say anything else which signals her to continue

"I'm sorry for saying what I did..I don't think of you like that…I promise, I just. I don't know..it just kind of came out. But it doesn't make it ok, and for that i'm sorry"

"ok"

"yes ok, you apologized, now you can go" she sighs again

"ok Spencer." She gets up but doesn't move

"you know Spencer, I don't know you that well, but if you would let me I would like to get to know you a lot." She starts to walk away

"wait! What the hell Ashley?"

"what?"

"you just flipped out on me in there then you come out, apologize, and say you want to get to know me?" I really don't know why I flipping out but she is just so damn confusing

"yea I mean…."

"and I mean I don't even know why you yelled! You ignore me for no reason! I mean right after you chilled with us Halloween shopping you just stopped talking to me like what did I do?"

"you didn't do nothing I just.."

"Which brings me to another point! YOU can make out with mack all the freaking time you want but I cant just dance wit someone?"

"I didn't say…."

"Like what is wrong with you? Why the hell do you have a problem with me?"

"OK Spencer stop talking, do you want me to answer these questions or not?"

"NO I don't want to hear another excuse, I mean yes I want you to answer them, but I want the truth." She looks down and I move closer to her

"Ashley what did I do" I look into her eyes hoping she understands I really just want to know whats up, she looks up at me and we lock eyes for some time

"its just…I just..well I don't like her ok." I looks at her confused, yet again but before I can say anything she looks away from my eyes and backs up a few spaces

"truthfully Spencer, I don't like you with any girl, I cant stand it!"

"you can't stand that I'm a lesbian?"

"NO! gosh I cant stand you being with anyone Spence! I hate seeing you with other people!"

"your jealous?" she doesn't even answer that question she jus keeps talking

"when we were all at the mall it was hard for me because you looked so frickin hot in the outfit and I couldn't take it, but it confused me because I knew I shouldn't feel this way so I tried to put all of the sexual tension I had toward Mack but it didn't work, trust me! Gosh I wanted you so bad!"

"you wanted me?" and again the question is ignored

"and then I couldn't talk to you because it was just to much, I liked you and I know that now, gosh I LIKE you now, but I shouldn't, its wrong in so many ways Spencer! I would loose my friends, maybe even my family! so I couldn't be around you, I CAN'T be around you, its just to hard." I'm standing there mouth wide open probaley, shocked as ever, I really have no words. She finally looks at me and I now notice there are tears falling from her eyes before I can't even control myself I pull her into me and just hold her as she cries in my arms.

She finally started calming down and slowly let go of me which I was disappointed about because all I wanted to do was keep holding her. I take my hand and lift up her chin so she is looking at me again.

"You're the only one who can say when something is wrong, no one else. And just so you know, you wouldn't loose me, I would be right next to you through the whole thing, if you would let me" with that I kiss her on the forehead and stand up making my way back to the house, I really just want to go home now.

I wish I could tell you everything changed, I wish I could tell you that she ran after me and kissed me and we are together and blah ponies and rainbows. But I can't, because nothing changed, she didn't change. And I guess she thinks whatever we had between us been wrong. I bet your thinking I spent the rest of these almost a 2 weeks just sitting in bed and crying. Well you are wrong! I gave her a week to talk to me, but she didn't not even one word. It hurt, yea. But I hope she didn't think I was going to wait for her, I mean sure if she went to me, and talked to me and said I am just not ready and we had a huge conversation, then sure I would probably wait for her. But no she is just back to macking on mack and ignoring me like the plague. So I bounced back, yes I still like her a lot, but I don't deserve someone is going to treat me like that. and no im not having sex with every girl I see walk by for revenge, you know me and Cris' rule. BUT I am hooking up, a lot, I have been talking to that girl Angie from the party but its nothing serious, I just apologized for bailing on her the other night and she forgave me, angle, Kyla, crystal and I hang out a lot now, but I think I see her more as a friend then anything. To tell you the truth I think her and crystal might have something going on, but it could be just my suspicions.

"hey spenceeeeeerrrrrrrr" Kyla plops down next to me with a tray full of food

"hey ky watsup"

"nothing just grubbing" she says as she stuffs a spoonful of whatever the crap they serve for lunch is

"I can see that"

"so crystal, and angie want to go to a party tonight, you in?"

"sure"

"whats wrong?"

"nothing"

"Spencer tell me the truth"

"nothing is wrong ky" I look up only to be met with these beautiful brown eyes the ones I hate yet cant get off my mind

"hey…" she speaks!..i look around to see if she is really talking to me

"who me?" am I on punk or something? She giggles

"yes you, um I was wondering what are you doing today?" I couldn't speak, like seriously we haven't talk at all in almost two weeks and now she wants to know what im doing today? I just stare at her.

"she is going to a party, with crystal, me and angle" Ashley tenses up when Kyla mentions angle

"oh ok, that's cool"

"why?" I finally speak up

"why what?"

"why did you ask me about today?"

"because I was wondering If you wanted to hang out…with um me."

"of course she does actually you should go with us to the party" WTH!

"WHAT THE HELL?" ok I swear I meant to only think that, they both look at me with shocked faces

"um I would love to but if Spencer doesn't want me to go, it doesn't matter, I will just see you guys later"

"no Ashley wait! Don't listen to Spencer, she wants you to go"

"do you Spence?" Ashley looks right at me

"um…I mean..if you uh want.." nice spencer..her face brightens up

"ok! Great! Well um I will see you at the party then?"

"uhh yea, I guess you will" she goes to walk off before kyla stops her

"hey Ashley! Since you don't really know where the party is why don't you meet us all at Chelsea's house and go with us?" KYLA IMA KILL YOU!

"ok sure thanks! See yah soon guys!" all I am doing is glaring at Kyla while she is just smirking while finishing off her mystery meat. And then it hits me, party…with Ashley…driving…and hanging..with us…all of us…at a party…oh gosh just kill me now.

so crystal and I are in Chelsea's getting ready while Chelsea is downstairs watching TV waiting for the rest of the girls to show up.

"hey cris what do you think about this one?" I show her another shirt

"well its great…I mean if you want to look like a nun on crack"

"um ok so I will change then"

after about an hour and a half, we are both ready, I'm wearing black skinny jeans, with a white tight v-neck, and a leather jacket over it, my hair is up but I left my skater bangs out, I finally topped it off with some smokey makeup but not a lot, im not a huge makeup person. To say the least I looked pretty hot.

"damn Spence you look hot" see I told you

"don't I always?"

"no"

"shut up chris"

"you know I am just teasing Spence"

"whatever punk" we both giggle then head downstairs to wait with Chelsea

DINGDONG

"Spence go get the door"

"what why me? This is your house!"

"Spence get off your lazy ass and get the door!"

"ugh fine, but if I miss any good part of this episode im going to kill you!"

I walk over to the door and open it not thinking about who would be behind it

"hey ash" I totally forgot angle was bringing Ashley with her.

"hey angle" I smile and give her a hug

"you ready to parrtttaayyyyy?" oh gosh she is a weirdo.

"um yea sure angie" I laugh

"well I am just going to invite myself in then" angie walks past me and I blush forgetting to actually invite them in….yes them, I finally get a good view of Ashley and I think my eyes just became 20 times its original size, I mean damn! Ashley is soo beautiful and sexy and hot and gorgeous she is like hotexifulous, yea she is that. I notice her smirking but if my if I am correct I believe she is looking me up and down also, and I am usually correct. I hear a cough behind us, I guess we were starring longer then I thought. I clear my throat then turn around noticing a smirking Chelsea, angie, and crystal….great here it comes..

"well if you guys are finished eye fucking we would like to head out" crystal says as Chelsea, and angie snicker

"wait where is kyla?" I ask trying to ignore the statement crystal just made.

"we have to pick her up on the way" Chelsea says

"oh ok"

"I CALL FRONT!" crystal screams

"I CALL DRVING!" Chelsea joins in

"what! Not fair! Its my car!" yea that's angie she starts to pout and crystal goes up to her

"I'm sorry you can sit in my lap if you want" she smirks and angie blushes

angie starts walking closer to chris and stops right infront of her face

"oh I could?...well how about you sit in the back and give me the front, ok? Good" she then turns around and climbs into the passenger side leaving a flustered cris behind and we all crack up.

So the car ride was eventful, it was Chelsea driving, angie in the passenger side and Ashley, me and cris in the back. Ashley was sitting in the middle which was already close enough, but cris kept complaining she is squished and told Ashley to keep moving over even though cris had so much room! That sneaky punk. So it ended up Ashley being almost on top of me the whole ride to the party not to mention her hands were basically caressing my thigh, she didn't notice at first but I sure did! I ended up letting out a small moan when her hand went to high which made her look at me weird until she looked down and noticed where her hand was, she quickly removed it as we both blushed.

So yea well lets just say after that ride I was pretty flushed, right when we pulled up to the party house I jumped out of the car and went straight in not looking back or waiting for anyone, I was on a mission, a mission to consume some alcohol, as I was sitting down drinking my beer, yes I am starting off light, my eye quickly caught something very disturbing, a miss Ashley Davies flirting with a red head slut…ok so I don't know her, or if she is a slut but all I know is I don't like her that close to my Ashley! I mean um Ashley…not mine…well I wish she was…never mind anyway I didn't like it one bit, I saw the red head lean in to Ashley's ear and whisper something, she giggles and nods her head, next thing I know they are dancing, very close, to close for a so called "straight" Ashley, to close for me! Ok new mission….to consume a very large amount of alcohol..

Ok so I might be a little, wittle, incy, bincy, bit wasted. Bu you know just a wittle bit, ok I'm lying I am SO wasted right now..but guess what…well ima tell you anyway, so that stupid red head is all over MY Ashley yesss she is MY Ashley ok! She is! And that stupid slut is caressing her, and holding, her and grinding all over her, ugh! I want to punch her in the freakin face and make her cry! Yes cry! Not Ashley cry, just the red head slut..i hate her. And yes I am still watching them, like a fucking hawk! And Ashley hasn't even noticed she is to busy flirting fuckin back! Ughhhhhh killll meeeee I hate this sooo much! Wait what is that red head doing?...why is she leaning in? what the FUC….she is kissing her! That it! Before I comprehend what I am doing I am storming towards the red head who now has MY Ashley in a heated lip lock..

"GET THE FUCK OF MY ASHLEY!" I pull her off and punch her right in the face

freak! That hurrttttttt! My eyes widen at what I just did but I am not the only one, Ashley is starring shocked looking back and forth between me and the now crying red head on the floor…told you I would make her cry.

"SPENCER! What the hell?" that's Ashley yelling right now

why the hell I get so mad? Waiiittttt a quick second…Ashley didn't pull away…she kissed her back! She didn't fucking pull away! I am now giving Ashley the death glare, and I think she understands why I am mad now but before she can come up with some dumb ass excuse I beat her to it

"my bad, sorry I interfered with your "slut of the week", go ahead and get back to what you was doing….fuck for all I care!" and with that I leave the house and start walking, I don't know where the hell I am going but I am not turning back whatever is ahead is so much better then what I left behind. Right? I mean she didn't even mean that much to me…like I didn't even like her like that she was just sexy..yea that's all.

Fuck

My

Life

If she was, how did I put it? "just sexy" then I wouldn't have been in my bed for the past three days, watching stupid soap operas and stuffing my face with loads of sour patch kids, pixie sticks, junk food and coke..yea I'm not much of a chocolate person. But fuuuuuuccckkkkkk why can't I get over this girl! Like aperently she doesn't give a shit about me, why should I care about her! But maybe that's why it hurt so much…because for once I had my heart wrapped around one girl, one girl who I knew almost everything about, one smart, beautiful, kind, perfect girl. One girl who I would drop anything and everything for before I even really knew her. I didn't choose to fall so hard, but here I am falling as hard as possible. Someone can't feel I connection like I did and it not be real, someone shouldn't feel something like I did and it not be real. It just freakin hurts.

"Spencer open the damn door!"

"no!"

"Spencer you been in there for three days!" I just stayed silent

"you missed school! I have the work for you" ok so as much partying as I do, school is really important to me, I mean gota keep those grades up so I can play sports

"ugh fine, hold on" I walk over to the door and open it

"damn Spence it stinks like old socks and food in here! Ever hear of febreeze?"

"no crystal, that you smell is crushed hope and a broken heart"

"oh gosh how many soap operas have you been watching"

"every freakin single one made"

"Spencer this isn't healthy"

"I don't care if its healthy or not, now where is my work?"

"I don't know"

"what? I thought you had it?"

"does it look like I would bring you work? Anyway apparently your teachers gave Kyla it and she gave it to some kid to stop by and give it to you because she has some family thing to go to but she told me to tell you to get off your ass, get showered, and at least changer your clothes. Apparently she is physic because you stink, look bad, and you haven't been off your ass all day, so I would listen to Kyla"

"gee thanks"

"anytime my love, now I would kiss you but like I said you smell but I will see you tomorrow because you are not missing school again, hence why I am picking you up in the morning, love you"

"hate you" I do love her though

"take a shower!" she screamed while running down the steps and out the door

so I decided to take a shower, I did kinda stink, so I am now showered, hair up in a messy bun, my comfy cotton navy blue short shorts, and a white beater. I am now on the couch watching some soap operas…what at least I'm out of my room.

"NO! Michelle! Don't you see he doesn't love you! Don't do ittt!"

DING DONG

Ugh there's the door, who the heck dares to interrupt my soap opera watching time! I open the door only to be met with exactly what I didn't want to see so soon.

"um hi" her brown eyes look deeply into mine almost as if she is searching for something

"why are you here Ashley?" yea I don't give her a sweet hello, I am getting right to the point I mean I am in the middle of soap opera time!

"oh well um I have the work for you, that you missed" she hands over a packets full of papers and notes

"ok" she is still starring at me with a look like she is trying to figure out something

"why the hell are you looking at me like that?" what it is bothering me. She kind of jumps at my sudden small outburst but she replies

"oh um are you feeling better?"

"huh?"

"Kyla said you were sick, that's why you didn't go to school?" it was nice of Kyla to try to cover for me

"I wasn't sick" well that's a lie I was love sick…um not love I mean like sick..yea

"oh" she looks confused

"why weren't you in school then?"

"why do you care?" yea a little harsh but its not like she chased after me that not, she probably eneded up hooking up with that chick anyway

"Spencer what the heck is your problem? I bring you your work, and ask if you are ok, all I am doing is being nice and your acting like a complete bitch" WHAT?

"WHAT?" yea I said it out loud

"I'm the bitch?" I laugh out loud and continue

"why is it that we are always having these kind of conversations? There is no point! Last time I told you everything you was doing then you freakin apologized saying you were jealous you got all deep with me then I basically tell you I like you back and you don't talk to me for two freakin weeks then to top it off the next time we "hang" if you could even call it that you are all over some GIRL, a freakin GIRL! You say you cant be that with me because its "wrong" but your basically having ex with the chick on the dance floor all nigh! And then you yell at me for pushing her off?"

"you didn't push her off you punched her"

"I don't give a fuck what I did Ashley! You still KISSED her! You LET her kiss you! I am tired of all these games you are playing! You pull me in then push me a thousand feet away! I'm freakin tired of it!"

"I'm sorry I ju…"

"I don't want a sorry I just want you to stop. Gosh ash, it hurts to much, just please stop." I'm almost at the verge of tears and I don't know why, well I know why, but I shouldn't be.

"what do you mean it hurts?"

"gosh dang'it what do you think? I like you Ashley! Ok! I freakin like you a whole damn lot! Ever since I shadowed the school and saw you that day in the lunchroom, I don't even think you remember, but I do. Ever since then I couldn't get you off my mind, ever since then I didn't want you off my mind. I learned so much about you, Chelsea told me a lot, you know she wasn't the only reason I went to the games. I couldn't stand you being with your boyfriends, everyday I had to watch you parade around with them and them treat you totally wrong, they didn't love you. They didn't treat you right. Gosh you don't understand how many times I wanted to scream on top of my lungs that you deserve better and sometimes better is right in front of you, and her I am. Right in front of you. But all you do is push me away. Apparently you don't want what I want. And it hurts to much to stand here and wait for you to want me, I just cant. Ashley I think, gosh, I think I love you. And that's why you need to stop, you just need to leave because I cant have this come here go away shit. I cant take it. I may be strong, but I cant hold up this burden. Just please stop." I feel wet on my cheeks and wonder how long my tears have actually been flowing freely, but I don't care, I just want to go back upstairs and to sleep. I look up at Ashley to tell her to go and what I see there confuses me more then ever, she is crying to, and looks just about as broken as I feel. Before I know it she is hugging me tight and for some reason I cling onto her with all I have she pulls apart slightly just enough to look me in the face

"oh Spencer I'm sorry, I'm truly sorry, you have to believe me. I care about you more then you know, and it scares me. You have to understand that when I am scared a lot of times I try to ignore it or run away from it, and you Spencer Carlin scare me. I never wanted to hurt you, and maybe that's why I have been trying to keep a distance from you. But as much as I would love to show you how much I do love you, I am just not ready, you have to understand that. And you are right, I am being unfair and I am going to stop, because the truth is as much as I tried to get you out of my head, the more I do the more you just stay there. I need time though, and I am hoping you will wait for me, even though I don't really deserve it"

"I don't know how long I can wait"

"will you try?"

"only if you try to."

"I will."

we hug tightly again and before I know it we spend the rest of the night holding each other and just talking.

I wish I could say we are happily together now, you know those happily ever after, But still in senior year the closest we got was best friends, she is off in college now, and I am now I senior its been two years and apparently she still isn't ready. We talk as much as we can and as much as I tell her it's hard for me to wait, I know its not, because in the end I would wait forever for her, because I know she is my forever.

**so the ending kind of sucked but sorry if you didn't really like it, but i hope you did! i am thinking of continuing it and maybe writing them getting together and what not but we will see, pleas review and tell me if you liked it! =) also ideas are welcomed! keep reading =D**


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